Revenge Fantasy
by Honore with Shurpuff
Summary: or (Humans are Dogs, Forever Leashed). It is not in anyone's place to dictate what one chooses to forget; and forgiveness is a paltry compromise. Gintoki, after the war, saw a different, arduous road before him, one he knew would only end in tragedy. He'll take it one step at a time with his comrades by his side.
1. Shimura

**This is a Shurpuff work, published here on his request.**

* * *

Shurpuff: All rights to their original owners.

"Turn left here, right, left, forward several-oh, there's a monster-there, took care of him... moving on, left, right, forward to the corner..."

"Gintoki, stop wasting my time," came Takasugi's voice, cold and irritated.

Gintoki resheathed his katana, then removed the VR headset on his head. He looked behind him where the pipsqueak stood, head bowed under a hat while smoke drifted up from his pipe.

"Just a little bit more," he replied, his eyes adjusting to the sudden change in environs. Amanto technology, however amazing, was not without its flaws, and the virtual reality shtick was still highly disconcerting to the senses even for a seasoned warrior.

Still, it was enjoyable, especially since the game was still pleasantly 8-bit. Tales of Wizarding was everything in a neat, cheap package: adventure, mystery, action, role-playing and VR.

"Not 'just a bit more'," Takasugi said testily. He shifted his hat to display the lone eye, sharp and disapproving. "You've led me all around the city on this foolish goose chase. I fail to see why I should humor you any longer."

"Humor me, humor me," Gintoki mock-chanted, slipping the set back on. "I'm almost at the last monster, and once I've beaten that, I know I'm at the right place." He started walking.

Takasugi cursed. "Why the hell would you choose that filthy device to arbitrarily show you the way? This whim of yours is stupid, Gintoki. Henpeita has laundered for me whole lists of families that you could use, all of them checked and triple-checked."

"Like I'd trust anything that lolicon says."

"And instead you trust that video game of yours? What happens if you end up standing in front of some old woman's house?"

"She'll probably be the wife of some big boss yakuza from the country," Gintoki replied. He whistled, then killed a virtual ogre. "Then we'd have an in with the underworld!"

"We are the underworld, idiot."

"No, we're underground, or in your case, undercover, or in my case, underpaid, or in Zura's case, under fire. Now shush, 'cos I think I'm getting close. Left right left right..."

Takasugi had to raise an eyebrow; they were in a secluded residential area, far from the noise of ronin in the slums or the filth of the "modernizing" city. Old families could be found here, some perhaps belonging to relatives of samurai or nobility.

"If I remember correctly," Takasugi muttered, eyeing the battered street signs at the corner, "this is..."

"Got it!" Gintoki exclaimed. He still wore the set. "This is the place." He tapped the end of his sheath against the ground. "And here's a pretty strong monster to greet me."

Takasugi didn't know exactly what illusion Gintoki saw. For his part, he could see a sign saying "Kodokan Dojo" near the entrance. The doors were open, leading to a sprawling property where he knew a dojo lay.

Shimura, he remembered. He remembered Henpeita's notes: something about their being one of the major landowners at the height of Heian, intermarrying into samurai families, slowly frittering away wealth and influence until only a small amount remained.

"I think I can take you, monster," Gintoki exclaimed.

"Um... do you have some business with the master, sir?" asked a man standing just a few feet inside. He held a practice sword, his eyes wary and focused on his comrade's drawn sword. Gintoki didn't seem to have heard, and was already drawing into a stance.

Grinning, Gintoki said, "This is for my comrades!" and charged.

Sparks flew. The wooden sword snapped. Perhaps realizing, at some level, that it wasn't just some big boss in front of him, the Shiroyasha didn't immediately slash at the kid. Not that Takasugi let him. He hooked his fingers through the straps, then slammed the idiot's head into the nearby ground.

Knowing what was coming, Takasugi sighed and drew his sword. Steel clashed. Shiroyasha backflipped, the VR set thrown ruthlessly to the ground as his twisted visage reappeared. Takasugi knew Shiroyasha's wild grin was reflected in his own face.

One hit. That was their rule. The two warriors clashed steel one more time. Time stood still as the wind whipped from them both. Then, a gash appeared in Takasugi's hat.

Tension left him. "370 to 359, huh?"

Gintoki grunted. "You've been growing softer by the minute, twerp." They both sheathed their swords. "Hey kid, what's yer name?"

"Obi Hajime," the man said slowly.

"Your father run this joint?" The kid shook his head. "Then get me the master. I like to drink something sweet. Make sure you remember, alright? I'm in a bad mood."

Takasugi examined the damage to his hat. "It seems to me that you've been the one slacking on training, Gintoki. This cut doesn't look nearly as perfect as it should have been."

"Feh, that cut could've levelled a building," Gintoki retorted, picking up the damaged VR set. He sighed forlornly, imagining money bills flying away into deep space. At least it had been fun while it lasted.

"What might be your business here, honored guests?" said a voice from within the dojo. "And let it be known that if it is unsatisfactory, I will have you pay for disturbing the sanctity of my house with your wanton display."

"Don't need no wonton, old man." Gintoki glared at the kid behind the man. "Oi, where the hell's my drink?"

* * *

He's said his piece; it's up to Takasugi now to seal the deal. He's not good with negotiating, unless there was money to be had or he was being swindled out of it. He stood under the trees outside the house, gazing at the distant Terminal. The sound of raised voices shivered the air.

The kid from before approached. Behind him was an even smaller kid, whose gaze turned from curious to fearful at the sight of his sword. He could see the resemblance to the father in the boy's face; so this was the presumed heir.

They didn't get a chance to speak, as Hajime ushered the boy past him to another part of the house. After a while, Hajime returned, and this time he didn't seem wary at all.

"Are you really looking for an apprentice?" he asked. Gintoki scratched through the perm irately.

"More a water-boy," he drawled. "Someone who cooks meals and handles the laundry while I rest. I ain't really got a style to teach or nothing; and you got your own style now anyway so what's the point."

"Ahhh, well I'm kind of bad at cooking though," Hajime said, chuckling. "All I'm good for is my swordsmanship and keeping watch at night for ruffians. But I can learn if you want me to. Is it true we'd be going into space?"

"If the details get hammered down nicely, maybe, yes," Gintoki replied, closing his eyes to appear as if he were meditating.

"Sweet! I always thought it'd be neat to fight against aliens and their fighting styles... hey sir, you wouldn't happen to have fought those Amanto before have you?"

Gintoki opened one eye. "And what makes you think I have?"

Hajime crossed his arms. "Anyone who freely walks around with a sword like that ain't one from the streets. And no rascal, no matter how skilled, can get the master to be as gracious as he is now. So you're samurai, or ex-samurai. P

robably one of those rebels I hear about on the news."

"The rebellion's dead," Gintoki said flatly. "And I'm glad it is."

* * *

In the end, the old man only allowed the use of his estate for "occasional" underground use, both as a temporary refuge and as a terminal for passing secret messages. Any more than that and he'd be endangering his children. He stood his ground on that point.

He did allow Hajime to assist Gintoki, as the man was bound for an extra-planetary trip anyway, considering his potential. He'd just be going earlier than scheduled.

Gintoki felt just a tad sorry for the Shimura master. Nowadays, thanks to the Amanto, there were plenty of ways an innocent-looking estate could hide something like a full-sized underground laboratory, if it was needed. He knew his comrade would stop at nothing to manipulate the bounds of the agreement, even if he would loudly bet his honor he wasn't.

Not that they'd be turning the dojo for that purpose, no. Gintoki would use the place as a seedbed upon which the lofty ideals of the samurai might be preserved. There was no need to tell Takasugi this, of course. Far from preserving a seedbed, that guy was perhaps keener on scorching the whole field black.

Gintoki spent the last few days on Edo observing the construction of yet another tall, gray tower in the inner district. He'd go around dressed as a mendicant priest, wheedling some dango or iced cream from the shops he passed. His sword he prudently left at the Shimura residence, as well as his sense of justice. There were more than a few districts where crime was openly rampant; and yet it was going to be such a pain to have to explain to Takasugi and his cronies how he had to delay his mission for days or weeks because he helped some orphans find their home or something.

His sword had proved unable to save everything; so he resolved to only preserve all he had left.

He spent the last day inside the residence, dozing upon the porch. That was when the elder Shimura sibling came up and slapped him through a sliding door.

Gintoki bit back a curse as he emerged from the mess to find the kid glaring at him. "If you... if you ever hurt Obi-bro..." said the kid, "Then the next slap'll take you to the moon!"

Seeing that this one was a prepubescent girl and also the daughter of the house's master, Gintoki sighed. "The moon sounds nice. All empty and cool... I could spend my last days on that place, assuming the Amanto've not built some resorts there by that time..."

"Promise me, smelly old coot! Promise you'll keep him safe!" the kid shouted. Just then, another kid came in behind, hands flailing.

"S-sister, please stop! Sakata-san's our guest!"

"Shut up, Shin-chan. Because of this guy, Obi-bro's leaving us."

"But he wanted to, right? That's what he said, right?"

"I..." The girl balled her fists. "I know who you are, Sakata-san. My eyes are small, but they can see clearly. You're a rebel samurai right? You've come in to mess up my family! Father and Obi-bro might have accepted you, but I never will! Samurai who've turned from the road are not samurais at all!"

"Sister!" the smaller one said admonishingly.

Cheeky brat, he thought. "Hey kid," Gintoki finally said, "Adults don't make promises. So I can't promise you anything." He picked himself up from the floor. "But I will keep him safe, to the best of my ability. Hell, I think he can even take care of himself." He walked past the kid back to the walkway, from where he could sense the person in question lurking beyond the corner. "And, y'know, I can't have him die halfway through. Then who'll carry my things?"

"Forget carrying me," the man said loudly for the kids to hear. "Worry about how I'll have to keep covering his ass!" he said with a wide smile.

Gintoki raised his hand in apology. "Yep, I can be lazy sometimes. This guy'll probably have to keep dragging me across space."

"Hajime-nii!" The kids came bounding out, tears and snot lining their faces. Gintoki left the kids alone to their tearful goodbyes.

* * *

Nobody tearfully bid him goodbye, though he would've appreciated even a gruff, impolite sending-off from a wizened old fruit. Just a little. Neither Zura nor Takasugi could come: the former obviously still being hunted by that Shinsengumi, and the latter was on the other side of the galaxy with his ragtag fleet, waiting for their rendezvous about six months down the line.

Space and the Amanto were interesting. At least he could agree with Tatsuma on that. As Edoites, he and Hajime were only allowed to go to fringe planets of each respective empire, along with independent worlds that were a bit like Earth.

He couldn't fault Hajime for his endless optimism in their travels, approaching every new wonder with a joy so profound it gave him a tooth-ache. Having spent his whole life on the now-distant Earth, he could well understand the awe one could hold for the myriad adventures spread out before them.

Unfortunately, Gintoki was not to be just a tourist, nor a kid searching the stars for One Piece.

Zura had said that Gintoki's role had been simplest on paper: to undergo a brief amount of time observing the state of the Amanto-riddled universe. In a way, it reminded him of that old Naruto manga, when the titular kid had to go on a timeskip travelling; although in his case he wasn't training anybody along the way nor did he need to learn about anything more than the Amanto.

Also unlike the manga, time did not skip, especially during the bad times.

Financial support from the Kiheitai was there, but it wasn't infinite, nor was it consistent across planets. Every other Earth-month he'd receive a wire in his account, enough for two Earthlings' supplies and one, maybe two one-way tickets. But prices fluctuated wherever they went, such that having a five-star experience with exotic Amanto pleasures, pools made from actual syrup and all-you-can-eat buffets on one planet could also mean eating fried mystery foods and living furtively among the trash in another planet.

And that was not counting having to deal with strange Amanto with an unpleasant aversion to Earth-apes. It didn't help that in pitting himself against the aliens, he and Hajime fulfilled some inner justice that managed to coincide-leading to almost perfect teamwork. Obviously the pair wouldn't be as legendary as something like the Umibouzu, but he liked to think they'd jumped higher than the Mario Bros.

From battling through a jungle filled with giant, poisonous bugs to rescue a benefactor, to double-crossing a slaver group, commandeering their ship and conveniently crashing it into the next planet, and even battling a band of Yato on a junk station orbiting a black hole, the duo lived and fought like samurai. Gintoki was even amazed at the skill and tenacity the younger one held; had he been born just a tad earlier he would have been either a strong ally or worthy enemy in the War.

Of course, he never told Takasugi that, on the times they met.

He even entertained hopes that Hajime might join their little movement, but he knew from living with him that Hajime wished for continued peace in Edo. An honorable ideal in itself, though one he could never align with. Perhaps it would change at the end of this journey, and in that case he couldn't ask for a better new comrade.

Those hopes, and their journey, were sliced cleanly in half, when they reached a certain planet.

* * *

Armed with as much "XP" as he thought he had (Gintoki kept explaining to Hajime how it meant "experience points, duh") regarding the Amanto, Gintoki thought to try venturing into the systems blacklisted by the Amanto empires, no-man's-space which were the roaming grounds of space pirates, Takasugi-like independent battle fleets and Takasugi himself.

They chose a "barrier planet", a world which had nearly all its natural surface stripped to the core, and replaced by machinery that harvested the raw heat into energy, the by-product of which produced plumes of white gas that covered the entirety of the planet. One had to wear protective suits to survive the harsh environs, but that meant that few except the desperate and the cunning dared to live down there, meaning they could almost stay down there free of charge. And Gintoki was determined to save up for a splurge at some brothel planet.

Unfortunately, the situation on the surface was more complicated than they'd realized. Harusame-and they weren't the only thugs sniffing through the garbage. Every goddamned warrior race, from Yato to the Battle-bugs of Zshinar to the bizarro Renho, was represented there, and Gintoki could smell the conflict about to bloom. If there was a world martial arts tournament, he was sure fists (and other appendages) would've started flying. It was just their luck that a sudden blockade prevented transport inside and out, so now they were stuck.

They planned to lay low until everything blew over. That had been the plan. He was sure even the headstrong Hajime understood that, while they went their separate ways to search for an alternate ship offplanet.

By the time he'd arrived at their meeting point, the kid was a total mess. Half his face gone, left hand mangled, both legs smashed to bits-it was a miracle he still managed to seem unbowed, leaning on his battered sword while he smiled up at his attacker. Hajime even managed one futile jab: "I messed up big time, Gin-san. You got a time machine stashed somewhere?" before collapsing among the heap of bodies.

Shiroyasha saw it all-encounter, rampage, exhaustion, last stand and him showing up at the last, last minute, like an incompetent policeman.

Fortunately, there was only one last enemy. Unfortunately, the enemy was a Yato, and a formidable one at that. Its hair was red, natural or dyed by the constant allure of the battlefield-like hell he cared! Distantly he remembered the last boss of Tales of Wizarding, how he never managed to beat it, never finding the time. And this guy, smaller and shorter, felt more like a "last boss" than even Takasugi.

Tales of Wizarding: which had led him to Kodokan Dojo.

Shiroyasha fought with fury more hot than cold. His blood screamed for more. Every bit of XP would be used to fell this foe, no matter the cost.

Bloody Yato. For the price of one finger, he managed to wipe the bastard's annoying smile from his face, flinging him clear down into the white clouds below. He didn't care if the Yato survived. Let him crawl back up, so he could fling him back down. Make the bloody Yato even bloodier.

He supposed that if he hadn't chosen to continue his enraged rampage throughout the city, he might have given thought to Hajime. Maybe he'd have lived, or at least he could have heard the kid's last thoughts. But he'd immersed himself in the battle, and by the time he'd calmed down most of the planet was riddled with innumerable corpses, Hajime among them.

Takasugi, only now responding to Shiroyasha's SOS some weeks back, marvelled at the devastation. Henpeita threw up, Bansai whistled, and Matako joined the rest of the crew in being awestruck. Through the windows, he spied a blood-caked monster that was his comrade standing amidst the ruins.

Takasugi paid a deep bow to the fallen warrior being carried into the hold. There was an unreadable light in his comrade's calm face, as if he was loath to part with the mask of the Shiroyasha. Takasugi recognized it: it was the same man born from the end of the last rebellion.

Every crew member imitated their commander in bowing, as if Shiroyasha had been a great daimyo come into their midst.

"You're wounded," Takasugi observed, later at the med bay. The Amanto blood had been cleansed from Gintoki's skin, and he stood near the windows, gazing into the starry void outside.

Gintoki raised his hand, where the finger family missed its smallest. "Doesn't hurt too bad. I mean, it's not symbolic or anything. You could make a case of broken promises from this if I had made a promise with those brats, but I didn't-"

The window, responsible for helping pressurize this sector of the ship, cracked. The fist, newly bleeding, withdrew from the glass.

Takasugi breathed out a puff of smoke. "You'll be paying for that. So, do you need that thing replaced?"

* * *

It was not a pleasant homecoming.

He heard hurried steps padding through the wooden floorboards. He hesitated at the entrance to the dojo, imagining he'd be struck by lightning if he stepped one foot inside.

One set of eyes and one set of glasses saw him there. He didn't know what they saw when they looked at him.

There were a couple million things he could have said: cruel words, comforting words, cold words, indifferent words, remorseful words.

"I..." He paused, sighing, all his emotions gathered together at his throat, silencing him, choking him.

"...I'm looking for a time machine."

He was more surprised that the younger kid did it than the fact that he, the Shiroyasha, got sent crashing through several blocks of property from just one blow.


	2. Yato

**A Shurpuff work, published at his request.**

* * *

 **Shurpuff: If it isn't already obvious, this will be presented somewhat out of order, though one thing is constant: Gintoki travelled in space for 3 years before returning to Earth. I aimed to be thematically focused in each chapter.**

* * *

The Kiheitai couldn't claim the bounties on most of Gintoki's kills-Takasugi had planned on allying with the Harusame at some point, and claiming some responsibility for the Massacre (though few galactic news outlets would ever report it) would only paint a big red target at their backs. After hurriedly looting the dead for useful tech, his crew went back to the ship, sneaked through the blockade and then out of the system.

He and the Shiroyasha would have five more duels while on the ship. Unsurprisingly, the latter would win all five.

"Forgive the impudent question, Shinsuke," said Kawakami Bansai one day, "But what will the Shiroyasha be doing from now on?" Gintoki had spent the whole trip haunting the area near Hajime's remains like a wraith. Some of the crew had taken to whispering, suspicious of the omen of carrying a corpse around in addition to hosting someone who looked to be a supernatural entity himself.

"Gintoki's a big boy," he replied. "He'll get to it eventually. This does not change our plans, however. With or without him we're still following the schedule."

Gintoki wasn't much help in the next few weeks, opting to stay cooped up inside the ship when they docked at this or that planet. At least he was able to slowly debrief the Kiheitai on everything he'd learned regarding the Amanto. Some of the crew's engineers were even working to replicate the tech; though it seemed they'd need an expert mind for the truly effective ones.

It was during a dicey situation on a certain planet that Gintoki finally made a move. They'd been stuck at that planet for days because the merchant thought to rip off Takasugi by changing the pre-arranged deal when it came down to the exchange. As a result, Henpeita and a number of his crew got captured, with the merchant demanding an increase in the price of the goods as well as the price for the hostages. Takasugi wanted to rip their eyes from their sockets, but recognized that doing so would alert the planetary authorities, with whom he was told the merchant had many ties.

"Takasugi," Gintoki said, having overheard the meeting. "You always overthink the simplest of things. Sometimes you just need to go down to the pig-pen and hope for the best. Oi! Someone get me a mask. No, not that one-that looks like Ichigo's Hollow! Why the hell are you toting that around... No, I ain't wearing something uncool like that! Get another... There, that looks better. Thanks, you can put the Hollow mask away now. Anyway, don't wait up for me, Takasugi. This could take all night."

Not too long after, Henpeita returned, with the crew following closely behind.

"I'd heard the stories. I'd seen young Hajime's last battleground," Henpeita said, unable to suppress a shudder, "But it is only now that I see the fact. That one is a monster, milord."

"He is a man," Takasugi said, feeling satisfied as if he had been the one to instigate a slaughter. "But something animates him to become something else entirely."

"He went after the Yatos first," Henpeita continued, eyes shut. "And had I not known they were Amanto, I would have felt pity."

* * *

They'd heard the claims. Strongest race in the galaxy. Legendary Umibouzu, of the Yato. Vulnerable to the heat of the stars-which were largely negated by mainstream solar deflectors on every ship and planet, or a simple parasol. Trump cards if used in the right places, dangerous powderkegs otherwise.

During one drunken brawl, when the kid himself hadn't been drunk, Hajime had gotten at the wrong end of a Yato's fist. It took the rest of their allowance to fix.

On their travels, Gintoki took the presence of the Yato as an immediate danger. It was like encountering a big old miniboss standing in the distance. The duo were forced to tread carefully.

More often than not, they had to battle the Yato anyway. The two got by with two basic rules: surprise attack the bastards, and if that didn't work: run like hell. 90% of the time, they ran. Yato were freakin' monsters, and it was a blessing to the galaxy that they were a fractured race.

"If it were possible..." Takasugi said during the debriefing, "A Yato would make a powerful ally."

Everyone in the meeting, even the indomitable Bansai, sat in shock. After all, the Kiheitai were to free Edo of _all_ Amanto influence. To fight fire with fire spoke ample practicality, but it was an option Takasugi had never mentioned before.

Gintoki locked eyes with Takasugi. He'd only just learned of the latter's intent to ally with certain fringe Amanto organizations. That had led to their third duel. Though he lost, Takasugi proclaimed that he wouldn't change his mind.

"Those things won't be satisfied with sitting still, Takasugi," he pointed out. "And though plenty people give them a wide berth, they won't win a war by themselves. All you'll be getting is an annoying, battle-hungry dog. Who might possibly also be a black hole through which all your food savings get sucked into."

"If it assures us of victory, then I'm willing to shelter a few mutts. But I get your point. The idea needs to be refined a bit more." Takasugi shrugged, apparently willing to let the unspoken argument slide to a later date.

* * *

He had sacrificed a finger to defeat that Yato. In the most desperate of maneuvers, he'd feinted his hand directly into the creature's fist. A bit slower and his whole hand would've been blasted off. This had allowed him to strike at the thing's blind spot, before delivering the decisive Air Launching move that might've surpassed the Shoryuken.

 _If only I'd gotten there sooner-_

That day replayed in his head over and over and over. He watched it while he slept, while he ate, while he dawdled in front of Hajime's body.

"Enough is enough, Gintoki," Takasugi said, a few months after. "Out here in space, useless junk gets jettisoned. Either go home with the boy, or go do your job. You're only becoming a figurehead if you keep staying here. And while it's inspiring to the crew, to me you're just a useless, freeloading old geezer."

"Aren't you a figurehead too? What the hell do you do here all day except loaf around smoking your pipes? Huh? Don't you spend your days diving into your Money Bin like Richie Rich?"

"But didn't the Money Bin belong to...?" Takasugi coughed. "I mean-I'm the leader, dumbass. I call the shots, and take sole responsibility for everything that happens as a result. Maybe you should try to be a leader sometime. It might give you some much-needed perspective."

"No thanks, I'm fine being the a humble little weed on the field."

"Then, 'weed', tell me your intended destination tomorrow or I'll personally haul you into an escape pod and leave you out here in cold space."

Gintoki turned away, leaning his back on the glass separating them and Hajime. "...I can't go home yet." His hand hovered over the hilt of his sword. He sighed. Something flashed in Gintoki's eyes. "I got this itch I wanna scratch. Drives me crazy. I'm like a dog in heat. It's the night before a school outing; I can't fucking sleep. I want to punch something, but everything around me's a goddamned marshmallow. There's a destination I can't see before me, and I can only trust my feet to take me there."

"But you'll walk there, come hell or high water." Takasugi allowed himself to smirk. "Do you have somewhere in mind?"

"Anywhere I can find some goddamned Yatos," Shiroyasha snarled.

* * *

Either Takasugi or the universe pranked him; as he never saw another Yato for some months after leaving Takasugi's ship.

He'd gone deeper into the forbidden territories. Unlike before he didn't bother with posing as a type of Amanto, as Hajime had suggested. He went as himself: earthling, Edoite, the freaking Shiroyasha.

A small part of him berated the rest for acting like some two-bit yakuza, swaggering into the street with a "fuck-all" attitude. Back on Edo, sooner or later that type of attitude could get one humiliated, or worse, killed. Out here in space, the second possibility was far more likely. And he didn't even have a death wish, damn it. So why did he keep doing it?

"You were unsuccessful, I take it?" Takasugi said, weeks later.

Gintoki grunted. His katana smashed against the twerp's head. Or, it might have, had not Takasugi dodged a millimeter to the right. "Fight me. Someone fight me or I'm tearing this ship apart."

Takasugi chuckled. "I'll pass. But you're free to duel Bansai if you want."

"Huh?" Said person exclaimed, after suddenly being addressed. Everyone's gaze swung to him. "...While I shall not back down from the opportunity, Shinsuke, but my deepest pardons, we still have that operation next week-"

"You'll live," Takasugi assured him.

* * *

Things weren't better the second time around. By the looks of the map he carried, he'd be in his 40s before he could fully explore the rest of the dark region. He'd already jumped around a lot, and still the impatience in him couldn't be sated.

A few days in, after the latest alien thugs had all but fled when he stuck chopsticks into their leader's eyes, Gintoki paused and frowned.

What the hell was he even doing? He glanced down at the broth spilled on his clothes, then to the Amanto writhing in agony. The smell would stick with him for a good while. Long enough to last for until he met Takasugi again. But it didn't mean anything. The Amanto had been drunk, like him. There might have been a story behind that group, but for now, it was just one potential bar fight averted by a show of strength.

Tatsuma was right; there really was little point in what he was doing. It was probably time to follow that guy's advice and head on home. Space was a dark void that only those with perpetually bright souls like Tatsuma could endure-guys like him would only get progressively smaller and colder, like stars.

Maybe he missed that kid. For all that he was an annoying, overly optimistic, brash and skilled, he had been a good kid. He had a strong soul. Perhaps Gintoki was disappointed that someone like that had left life so quickly, so easily; while a jaded old geezer like him continued to wander, starting bar fights wherever he went for no good reason.

But he was still fucking pissed. Everything inside his head was just like the things on his head; a big, permed mess.

"Nothing still?" Takasugi said, before the door could even close behind Gintoki.

Gintoki glared at him.

"Takechi," Takasugi next said.

There was a silence as almost everyone in the crew backed away from the Kiheitai's foremost tactician. To the side, Bansai's relief was quite visible.

"If I have one regret," Henpeita proclaimed, "It is that I die without knowing the purest of loves!"

* * *

Well, he'd had enough. Enough of crappy food, crappy locales, and unknown places to rest one's head. It was time to bury Hajime; for all that he knew it dishonored the kid to have stayed in stasis all this time. But it wasn't like Gintoki's soul wasn't already a piece of crap.

One last trip, he promised himself. Like a stag party of sorts, before fully committing to the unknown future. He'd done his initial part. It was time to return to Edo and begin the next part of his role.

With his last bit of finances, he chartered a ship back to Waiiha, planet of eternal summer. He even chose the rather expensive cryogenic option, wanting to fall asleep and then immediately wake up to sun and beach.

He woke up to a small child bopping him on the head.

"...The hell're you doing?" he asked the kid. He nursed his bleeding head. Apparently, the kid had interrupted his cryosleep.

"You go help," the kid replied. The child looked like an Earthling, though it spoke with a weird accent. "Adults fighting up-deck. They got guns."

Gintoki clucked his tongue. "Alright. Stay here."

It had been an attempted shuttle-jack, except that the terrorists hadn't been counting on several angry Dakini on vacation. By the time Gintoki came up to the decks, the fighting was mostly over, and he formally ended it by sliding his blade into a terrorist's head before it could crawl for the navigation room.

Only a few people had survived, and if he hadn't intervened, the terrorist could well have blown up the whole ship without him knowing. (Though admittedly, he would've liked to crash in Soul Society for a while until Takasugi gathered all of Shenlong's balls.)

Fortunately, they were still on course for Waiiha. But then he and the other survivors had to be detained by the immigration officials at the Terminal, for being witnesses to the massacre on-board. At least they gave him complimentary sundaes while he waited. Not the best way to enter the beach episode capital of the universe, and in the end he was let go with little fanfare, after signing a hundred papers. He guessed that the shipping company wanted to keep the incident under wraps.

Before he could step out to the sun, he was stopped by a official who stank like glue. "... Hold on, sir, there is the matter of this child."

"Huh?" Behind the official was the kid who'd woken him up.

"She claims to be your 'pappi'." The kid nodded vigorously.

He blinked. He tapped his own chest. "Dude, do you seriously think a guy like me can land a woman that could give birth to a cute kid like that? Gotta face reality man, even if it hurts Gin-san deeply."

"Be that as it may, sir, she strongly insists that you're responsible for her-"

"Kids lie. Send her to lost and found or something," he said with an air of finality. He turned to walk away.

* * *

"What type of selections would you like in it, sir?"

"Whatcha got?"

The server shrugged. "Well, we have everything from all four corners of the galaxy, all delivered to Waiiha for the express purpose of pleasing our customers."

"Heh. I've been to some crazy places, kid. You'll forgive me if I'm skeptical."

"We have everything, sir," the man repeated.

"Chocolate from Planet Nemak?'

"Yep."

"Bananas from the Soracheap jungles?"

"Yessir."

"Nuts from Bornish?"

"All varieties, including spiced."

"Milkified Strawberries, from Goldilocks III?"

"We've also got Strawberried Milk."

"Garn jelly from the planet Jelly?"

"We won't serve the living variant to Earthlings, of course; but the artificial ones, yes, we have them."

"Could I have..." Gintoki licked his lips nervously. "...Everything?"

"The works sir? Got it." The server looked down. "And what will the young lady have?"

Gintoki looked down, then cursed. The kid stood there, holding a folded-up parasol.

"I want what he wants," she said

* * *

"Alright, I bought you your sundae, so scram. Go on, go back to the lost-and-found."

The kid made a bunch of sounds that he thought was it speaking, when added to the steady bites it made out of the sundae. He could only make out "pappy".

"I'm not your pops, kid. I'm sorry to tell you this, but he maybe might have died back there. I don't know shit about intergalactic adoption protocol, but I do wish you good luck." He saluted. "Farewell!"

In his attempt to run, the child grabbed hold of his cloak and pulled. The weathered fabric, designed to withstand even planet Express's high wind velocities, tore easily. The motion made him drop the sundae where it crashed to the ground, breaking Gintoki's heart along with it.

He rounded on the kid. "The hell are you doing, you brat! I've got to manage my sugar levels and you're this close to killing me!"

The child absently licked its mouth clean of cream and sugary bits. It pointed at him. "Pappy."

* * *

"Please take her off my hands... please, please, please... I'll give you 300 yen to just keep her here for a couple hours while I go bury my head in the sand-"

"Mr. Sakata, I've already written her off to you. Now, if you truly wish to relinquish custody of the child, which I can assure you is easy since you don't have identification papers for her, you can call galactic public welfare. They can take the child in."

He tried dialling. "The queue's into the 6 digits! I can't stay on the line that long!"

The official shrugged. "Outta my hands, buddy."

Gintoki exhaled violently through his teeth. He looked down at the kid, who was absently chewing on the piece of fabric it had ripped from him. "Oi, stop chewing on that. You don't want to know where that bit's been in."

Growling, he went out. The child followed.

* * *

"This! Is why! I hate! Yato!" Gintoki screamed. The kid was obviously a Yato; as if its complexion and parasol weren't enough, there was the fact that it kept pace with him on his repeated, fruitless attempts to lose the kid in the resort city.

"Lemme be frank, kid," he said, sitting the child down so they could talk. "I ain't looking for Daigoro here. I'm just a lone wolf. I don't have time and money for cubs. And while child-raising's all the craze back on Earth, this old man's just content to spend his days with belly and wallet and motivation empty. You can't live that sorta life. You're just a kid."

"Pappy stupid."

"Nice to insult a benefactor, kid."

"No, no," the child said, shaking its head. "Kagura's real pappy: stupid. Doesn't know how I feel. Always out of town. Only sometimes comes home."

"Listen to me kid. I am not your father," he said, half-chanting.

"Kagura needs pappy," she pointed at him.

"Gin-san is not pappy! Not pappy!"

Screw this. He was going to try to lose the kid again. So thinking, he did a quick backflip, then somersaulted his way down to the corner, and turning it, ran like hell.

He was pleased half an hour later to find that no one followed him.

* * *

But Waiiha, for all its wonder, felt just a tad depressing, even when he got time alone to discreetly ogle some big-breasted tourists from Earth. After tasting what was supposed to be the sweetest rice dish in all of the galaxy only to find it lacking, something snapped in Gintoki's mind.

He didn't know if he should be relieved or worried that the kid had not moved from where he'd sat her down. Her face lit up brighter than the sun she avoided when he sat back down in front of her.

"Can you tell me who your pappy is?" She pointed at him. "Funny. No, seriously. What is pappy's real name?"

"Dunno." Letting her legs hang, she swung them idly back and forth. "Pappy was pappy. But Gin-san now pappy."

"I'm not."

"Gin-san pappy or I tell everyone Gin-san is pervert."

"Wait, what?" Gintoki's eyes widened. "Don't joke about that kid! You know what kind of trouble that'll get me?"

The girl screamed. "Pervert!" Everyone in the surrounding tables suddenly looked at him.

"Stop, stop, stop, alright, alright, I'll get you a sundae, please stop screaming...!"

The girl abruptly stopped. "Before the sundae, I want pappy."

Gintoki sighed. "What do you see in me, huh? I look like and am unreliable, kid. Maybe more than your real pappy."

"Pappy strong. I watched you take care of bad men."

"There was only one."

"And pappy kind. Pappy got me 'the works'."

"You forced me to!"

"And pappy..." To his horror, the girl began to cry. All the other patrons who'd looked before now began booing at him. What was this, reality TV? "...Pappy came back."

"Didn't your pappy come back too? Ah, alright, alright! I got it! Sheesh. I got a room; let's have you there-wait, did that sound like some creepy lolicon's pickup line? Gah! Who cares? Come on, kid." He walked past disapproving glares and whispers.

"It's not kid, it's Kagura."

"...There's someone in Edo I'm going to have you meet."

"Edo? Where is that?"

"Ah, it's where I come from. It's a place on Earth."

"Could I get 'the works' there too?"

"Why've you fixated on the damned sundae, huh? And anyway, you can't. From now on, Gin-san can only pay for one. You can have 20%."

"Pappy sucks."

* * *

"It would seem that the Shiroyasha has also joined in the 'daddy fad'," said Bansai. In his hands was a manga from Earth. He and Takasugi stood to the side while the Yato Gintoki brought caused havoc among the crew, all to a cackling Gintoki.

"Hmph. While the child is here, keep Henpeita watched at all times," said Takasugi. He looked vaguely disappointed.

Bansai sensed something in this, as he said, "Shinsuke, is there something wrong with the arrangement? Should we have Shiroyasha leave the child behind?"

"Leave the child?" Takasugi said, sounding incredulous. "We've finally got our first Amanto ally, the first willing ally-and it's a Yato to boot. Why kick a gift horse in the teeth?"

"Ah, it appears I misjudged. You have my earnest apologies, Shinsuke."

A pause.

"If you ask me, it's just too bad we won't be seeing much of 'Shiroyasha' for a good while," said Takasugi. "Unless something happens to his new ward, of course."

Bansai quirked an eyebrow. "You don't mean-"

Takasugi barked a laugh. "I would never be so crude. And didn't I say I was glad for the alliance?" So saying, Takasugi retired to his quarters.

* * *

"Hey stupid four-eyes, don't do that to pappy!"

Shinpachi was more surprised that a human could get knocked upward that high than the fact that a small kid had done it.


	3. Space

**A Shurpuff work, published at his request.**

* * *

 **Shurpuff's Note: To reiterate, fiction is not completely chronological in presentation. I intended to jump around the ten-year gap between the end of the rebellion and present-day Gintama.  
**

* * *

Finding a half-way decent diner was a pain, having to cough up for the overpriced menu was gut-wrenching, but at least they easily found a table. A nice little corner booth, where they could see everything. Gintoki left the annoying task of scoping out the surroundings for potential threats to Hajime while he closed his eyes in an attempt to catch even just a second of sleep.

Hajime whistled. "Seems like we're kinda lucky, Gin-san. Place is filling up fast."

Gintoki opened one eye to confirm that. Where the tables were once sparsely occupied, now Amanto of all sizes filled every space. With that came the sudden rise in temperature, as well as the pressure to keep watch on the population for any funny business.

Gintoki snorted. "Least we ordered first. Then we won't have to be hungry."

"Wonder if the kitchen can handle it."

"Well, we do needed to be cheap to make our next ticket out of here."

Their meals came, by way of whistling, steaming, serving 'bot that spoke in garbled Edoite. A fancy invention that: which made Gintoki distantly recall something about some mechanical genius that Zura had contacted back on Earth.

Gintoki deftly cut a limb off of the vaguely octopus-like thing (it was best not to think too much of Amanto cuisine), then squeezed the limb's juice over his grilled meat-of-animal-he-didn't-want-to-know-about. He then used one of the provided plastics to expertly pin the squirming octopus-thing in place.

"You've really mastered eating like that, huh Gin-san?" Hajime said. His own octopus had been drained of all its blood, now spattered all over his meal.

"What did I say about killing it, man?" said Gintoki, shaking his head.

"Still can't get the hang of that plastic thingie."

"You use it like one of 'em forks," Gintoki replied. He unpinned his octopus then pinned it back to demonstrate. Its cut limb was now slowly regrowing.

That was the trick. With all the chemicals being pumped through the ventilation, the food'd rapidly lose its flavor. The solution was constant basting with the condiment-octopi, a creature known for rapidly regenerating itself, tasty blood and all, as long as it was alive.

"It's also way too small... Well, s'not like it matters. I like this meal dry and unappealing." Hajime scraped a few servings to mouth with chopsticks.

"Here, use mine," Gintoki said, slicing off the limb that had just been regrown, then repouring it over Hajime's meal.

They ate on, surreptitiously taking turns to keep watch. They slowed down when they were about to finish. There weren't any clear rules here about staying too long, but if it came to it they could at least have the remaining food to indicate that yes, they weren't done.

They needed to prolong the stay here: it was either this or finding some empty alley to sleep.

Hajime twitched. "Whoa. Someone's making a beeline here. Probably wants to share tables. What do we do Gin-san?"

Gintoki took a glance. A humanoid person covered head to toe in a drab traveling suit was indeed coming their way. He had on goggles and helmet. "Huh. The guy's got a lot of food. Well, I think he's alone. Let's not appear too ungracious." It would also be another good excuse: the guy'd probably take long to eat everything on his tray.

"Excuse me," said the guy, "But could I use some time to eat here at your table? I promise I won't be long; I have a shuttle to catch in an hour."

Gintoki raised an eyebrow. "'Some time'? You've got a buffet right there on your hands friend." He made a show of being reluctant as he shrugged. "But alright. Help yourself."

"I appreciate your generosity." Gintoki scooted over in his side, so the person would sit by him. Being the more experienced of the duo, should something occur, he'd be there to grapple the guy first.

Gintoki saw Hajime jerk in surprise. When they made eye contact, the kid slowly said, "That's a nice parasol you got friend." He laughed. "You a Yato by any chance?"

It took a lot of effort not to freeze. "Mmm. I guess you could say that," the guy said. "It's not a problem, is it? I can leave if you want."

"Nope," Gintoki chirped. Now they definitely needed to keep watch. "We've seen a lotta things stranger than the Yato."

"Hoh? Are you travellers by any chance? What planet are you from?" The guy began shoveling large handfuls of meat into his mouth.

"He's from the planet Waiiha. Earthling parents," Gintoki lied. "Though I guess you could technically call him an Amanto..." Their cover stories changed from planet to planet. "I'm a half-Earthling from Cerberus II." Home to the sugar-addicted and human-compatible race known as the Gavities.

"I thank you for being forthright," the guy said through a full mouth. "I travel myself, though it's more of a job. Do you guys do a lot of fighting? You've got the eyes of wandering warriors... mercenaries?"

It was a credit to the kid that he kept on smiling goofily in spite of that. "Er... yeah, we've been in some scrapes. I gotta tell ya though, they've all been pretty hair-raising situations."

"Wait, did you just say 'hair'?" the guy suddenly said in a tone that set Gintoki on edge.

"Huh? Yeah he did say 'hair-raising situations'." Gintoki replied casually, signalling Hajime with his eyes to be ready for an outburst. "What's up?"

After a beat, the guy coughed. "My apologies," he said in a lighter tone. "I must've misheard."

No, but you didn't mishear hair, Gintoki wanted to say.

The guy cleared his throat and resumed eating. "Do you work for anybody? How do you get by?" he asked.

He let Hajime do the talking. "Well, you're right in that we're sorta mercenaries. We're independent," he said. "Traveling from place to place and paying our way with our skills. The whole galaxy seems like a dangerous place, and we found a lot of folks who needed protecting and such."

The guy grunted. "In that case, we're not all that different." He gulped down some of the brownish liquid churning in his glass. "Frequent traveler and soldier-for-hire... Though lately I've been dealing with some pretty big fish."

Hajime whistled. "You must be plenty experienced, sir. You deal with a lotta bigwigs in your line of work then?"

"Bigwigs?" The guy paused in taking a bite of his meat. They saw he'd half-risen from his seat. "Hold on. Did you just say 'wig'?"

Gintoki started from his self-induced stupor. "Ahh... yeah, he said wig, pal. Bigwigs. You know, those high society types? Big fancy corporations and such... Why? Is something the matter?"

"Oh..." the guy said slowly. After an awkward silence, he continued eating. "Sorry," he said. "Bit of a long day, you understand... hearing things and such..."

"Mmmyep," Gintoki ventured warily. "Yeah we've been there..."

 _The hell was up with this guy?_

The guy coughed. "Mmph. It's not like I care, if you were wondering. Wigs are useful for certain species like ourselves, who have a need to keep up appearances. But I guess people can get sensitive over it, which is perfectly understandable, so we should all learn to be discreet." He barked a laugh. "I'm not saying I, or you for that matter, need wigs, today, or in the foreseeable future, you understand. But we know, and uh, acknowledge, that they can be a necessity, for when the time comes, uh-huh."

"Er..." Even Hajime seemed at a loss. He couldn't understand why the stranger was going off on weird tangents like that.

"...Going back to travel," Gintoki said, forcibly steering the conversation back to port, "As I see it, space is pretty big huh?"

"Mmm," the man chewed thoughtfully. "About how many planets have you been to?"

"I lost count at thirty," said Hajime.

"Have you ever traveled via the forbidden routes?"

"No, but we have heard of their reputation."

The guy took care in shredding the next meal on his plate. "It's said amongst the empires that those uncharted lands are over five times their size-combined. But for each system the 'Hounds' or 'Royals' reclaim from the 'black zones', two more are discovered by enterprising adventurer or Harusame scout.

"Space is vast. There are more wonders out there than our little minds can comprehend. It a most lovely place; it is also quite frightening. My passport claims that I have been to five hundred systems, but those were only for work. (And I'd travelled incognito through hundreds more without passport for a while.)

"Hmph. But I guess you didn't need an old fart telling you all that. One word of advice, in slight repayment for this favor you've given me: don't waste your lives out there. Even the Harusame cannot find you if you truly wished to hide-if perhaps you'd angered them because of your job. There are plenty of refuge planets spread throughout the galaxy, and migrating colony fleets pick up thousands of outcasts everyday.

"Space, for all its treachery, is also one of the only good things you must experience in life. That is what I believe. That's why it's worth it to run and live another day, if only to be able to spend that day waking up to a whole new sunset on a brand new world."

Seemingly done, the guy went on with devouring the latter half of his meal. Hajime grinned. "Those were some pretty heavy words you had there, sir. They felt real heavy in my gut; I'm not done eating my food and I'm already full!"

"No offense, pal," Gintoki said, squeezing out more blood from the octopi-condiment. "But me and him-well me especially-can't really follow big words like that too well. I'm all for inspiration, but sometimes people can get too much in depth that I can't understand 'em at all."

The guy made an assenting grunt. "You're young. Sooner or later, it all just clicks into place, like bullets into the chamber."

Gintoki made a show of thinking while he chewed. "'Young', huh? Well, if having a simple mind means I'm young, then I can live with being young forever, like Conan."

"Amen to that," Hajime said, raising his glass in a pseudo-toast.

"'Cause I mean... it's a pain having to think and worry about stuff. If I'm ever going to be forced to do that, I'd rather rip my hair off and go bald-"

"You should _never_ wish to be bald! Whatever happens, no matter how bitter or sorrowful life can get, _one must treasure the hair on one's head_!" the guy suddenly shouted, standing and slamming his hands on the table. Gintoki found himself quite surprised at the thunder coming from the stranger that it made him almost draw his hidden sword. In front, he could tell Hajime had done the same.

The diner had gone partially silent for a few moments, staring towards their booth, after which everyone went on minding their own business.

The guy slowly took a seat. After a whole, uncomfortable moment of silence he quickly shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth, stood, took tray, bid goodbye and thanks, then left the table.

Gintoki sighed. Hajime watched the guy go, confusion on his face.

* * *

"So what was the deal with that guy?" the kid asked.

"Beats me," Gintoki replied. He wiped off bits of food and liquid from his coat. He picked at his meat, then, knowing how much of that guy's food had splattered onto it, pushed it to the side, sighing. "You heard what he said. Space equal big. We were bound to run into a weirdo every once in a while."

"Sounded interesting though. And he seemed well-traveled! He could've been a good source of some epic space stories."

Gintoki made a disbelieving snort.

"Sorry~~" came a voice behind him. "Could I have this seat for a bit?" Gintoki pricked his ears. Out in space, one could usually tell that someone, Earthling or Amanto, had been to Earth through their speech. There was just that peculiar accent that stood out in his ears.

Curious, he tilted his head. And promptly turned his head back.

"Whatever you do," he told Hajime in the most serious voice he could muster. "Don't let that guy sit." He fiddled with his disguise: he'd had the kid tie the fabric around such that none of his hair should be visible, but there was yet that small chance that a stray piece of gray perm would poke out.

And that would be bad news, especially to someone who'd recognize his particular shade of hair.

And that particular someone was here, as unlikely a coincidence as it was: showing up at this particular diner on this particular planet of this particular system on this particular fucking minute.

He checked again, made sure he wasn't seeing things... Nope that was definitely his hair, and also that mile-wide grin that never left the idiot's face, that could never fool anyone who knew him, in spite of the shades and the snazzy suit.

"How about you, sirs?" came his voice, much nearer. "Could I have this fine seat?"

"Buzz off ape," burbled the person sitting right behind Gintoki. "Ain't sharing your stink."

"Ahahaha! That's alright! I'll just spread my stink somewhere else then!"

"We can't turn down a guy like that, Gin-san," Hajime whispered. "Times like this, us earthlings should stick together!" The kid moved to wave the guy over.

"Shit! Alright then, promise me this kid: no matter what, don't mention my name! Don't mention it or I'm stranding you here!"

"Why're you so worried Gin-san? Surely the guy can't be any weirder than the Yato from before?"

"That guy's a billion times worse!" Gintoki hissed. He could hear the person's footsteps coming closer to the last booth on this side of the diner.

"Whoa! Today's a lucky day, it looks like! Two Earthlings, or my eyes be lying! Howdy 'doo to you, sirs! It's a nice day to be sharing a table, huh? Ahahaha!"

Sakamoto Tatsuma stood in front of their table expectantly, his grin almost mirroring Hajime's.

Gintoki covered up his end of the seat. He wasn't going to be sitting next to that moron, nosiree. Let two cheerful idiots be idiots over on the other side.

"...always nice to see a friendly face in these parts," Hajime was saying. "Come over and sit, buddy. Our table's free everytime!"

"Ahahaha! Man I can't tell you how much this brightens my soul! Can you believe that ever since we docked on this planet, I've been having the worst luck imaginable?" said Tatsuma, while he set about pouring octopi-blood over his meal. "Got kicked out outta my ship. Some blue-skinned babe fleeced me off the last coins in my pocket, and then a septic tanker almost-well, that one might have been lucky too come to think of it-crashed on the street I was in! You guys are my absolute oasis."

"Well, you made it out fine, which is the only thing that matters, don't you think?" said Hajime.

"Wise words," said Tatsuma, making a mock-toast. "Anyway, let me just introduce myself: the name's Sakamoto Tatsuma, and I do shipping and transporting services." He gave them each a business card. It was very smart and professional, showing off "Kaientai Transports" in bold letters. "Won't say we're cheap, but we are certified A-minus by Intergalactic Trade and we've had a stellar track record of successful deliveries." He made a thumbs up. "So what's your story, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Waiiha-raised Earthling," said Hajime pointing to himself. "He's a half-Gavit from Cerberus. We're travelers... of a sort."

"Been to a lot of planets then?" Tatsuma said, slurping his soup side with gusto. "How's space feelin' to ya so far?"

"Can't complain. Not a dull day, though it'd be better if we could eat three times a day. But everything and everywhere's an adventure."

"I hear ya." Tatsuma snapped his fingers. "Oh, have you folks ever visited Earth?"

"I was there with my parents awhile back," said Hajime.

"Ah, now that's a shame. Absolutely lovely place, Earth. Wanted to know if I could be updated: last I heard from the ol' blue ball was a state visit from Prince Hata a few months back. It's all dried up since."

"Did you live on that planet?"

"'Till two, maybe three years ago, that was my home!" said Tatsuma. "I've been to plenty of other planets, but nothing's ever beat good old Earth. I left there with only the clothes on my back and my dick tucked in nice and comfy... now look at me: captain of my own ship and enough booty to get me some booty at Planet Harem! Well, there's a long way to go before I can comfortably retire, but... baby steps."

"Wow, you must be a really lucky guy," Hajime remarked.

"I give thanks to anyone listening that I am so," Tatsuma said, putting his hands together briefly. He burped slightly. "So is your friend one of 'em silent types?"

Gintoki only stared dully as attention was once more focused on him. He'd been putting off opening his mouth to eat, for fear of Tatsuma somehow recognizing his teeth formation or something. He glared significantly at Hajime.

"Um..." Hajime cleared his throat. "My friend's a bit shy... doesn't talk that much to strangers. Though I'm sure that if we'd been traveling together he'd be the best friend you ever had."

"Don't be scared, man," said Tatsuma. "I'm not going to bite, and your being a half doesn't mean anything. In cold, cold Space, everyone's got to huddle together or we'd all freeze to death. Ahahaha!

"Well, not that I'm going to pry. A person has the right to his secrets after all. Say, I've an idea. Where're you guys headed next? Perhaps I can take you there, you know, make up an excuse to pass by the planet so I can drop you off... that sorta thing..."

"Oh, that's plenty generous, sir," said Hajime, sharing a look with Gintoki. "But we don't have a lot of money left. And we're honorbound not to borrow money at all."

"Aw jeez, don't worry your little head about it! Ahahaha! It'll be free! No strings attached. S'not like I'm gonna shanghai you into my service or anything. Mutsu and the crew'd eat my head off if they found out I was taking 'slaves'." Tatsuma put hand to chin. "Though if you wanted to join my crew in an official manner, I can also do that. You guys look like you can handle yourselves in a scrap, and there's never a thing as too few muscle in this line of work..."

Hajime laughed. "Thanks for the offer but I know my friend here, and me personally, won't stand to be tied down at all, even for a tempting thing like a stable job!"

"Aww... That's disappointing, but I completely understand. Well, my offer of free transportation still stands, fellas. You want in?"

If he didn't know the man, Gintoki would have refused straight out. A joyful face might hide cruel heart.

Well, knowing the man, Gintoki wanted to refuse immediately. He didn't have time to deal with idiocy, particularly from the likes of Sakamoto.

But they were getting low on funds, and if they were able to not pay for their last tickets, they'd have some money leftover for a splurge later on down the line...

When he next caught Hajime's inquiring eye, he nodded, almost imperceptibly. The kid's face broke into a wide grin.

"Heh. Well, if my buddy doesn't object, then who am I to refuse? Alright then Mr. Sakamoto sir! We'll gladly take you up on that trip!"

"Excellent! I can tell this will be the start of a beautiful friendship, my brother!" Tatsuma took up his empty cup and toasted. "To Earth!"

"To Earth!" Hajime responded enthusiastically.

Wordlessly, Gintoki raised his fist in the air.

"My ship's got to leave in thirty minutes so we have to hurry," Tatsuma announced, after they left the diner after a short while.

Then he pointed out, after laughing nervously, that his ship was docked about thirty miles away on a different port. And the fastest route, via expensive taxi cruiser, would get them there in an hour. And didn't he mention that he'd been cleaned out, and that he'd paid for his diner food because he had a little bit of credit there?

"So could you guys help a buddy out?" Tatsuma asked, still grinning.

"What do we do?" Hajime asked him.

Mustering up all his rage, Gintoki gripped the idiot's neck and lifted. "Oi, what's the big idea here," he said, deepening his voice just enough to be unrecognizable. "Baiting us with shit like this, are you asking to get your ass kicked?" Any other person and he'd have just knocked this guy out for even daring to pull shit like this.

... On second thought, he so wanted to kick Tatsuma's ass for actually pulling this crap on him.

"... C-c-calm down, friend," Tatsuma said, squirming. "W-we don't have to take the taxi... we can just wait... they won't ever leave their captain behind... well, most of the time... A-A-and we'd only had one job lined up today... so I trust they'll help out..."

"I ain't buying that crap," Gintoki rumbled. "They say the penniless share their miseries and their joys, but I never heard mention of having to share trust. Goodbye and good riddance Mr. Sakamoto." He let go. Motioning for a hesitant Hajime to follow, Gintoki walked away.

He heard Tatsuma hack and cough behind him. "W-wait... Don't leave yet... We've still got lots of catching up to do, you know? Cause it's sure been a long time, right?

" _Kintoki_?"

Gintoki screeched to a stop. Slowly, he turned back to Tatsuma.

The other samurai sheepishly placed a hand at the back of his head. "Ahahahaha! Nice...nice to meet you again?"

 **Drop kick!** When the dust settled, Gintoki sighed, gesturing a cautious all-clear to Hajime. "Get a taxi, wouldja?"

"Sure thing, Gin-san!" Hajime ran off to the nearest computer terminal.

"Oi Tatsuma," he said, lifting the guy to his feet. "I expect full VIP service on this rig of yours. And I'll want a dozen, no three dozen parfaits or whatever sweet dish you can scrounge up!"

* * *

It turned out the queue for the taxi services was going to take another hour. So all Gintoki had to pay for in the end was Sakamoto's call to his second-in-command, requesting the ship transfer ports to pick up their wayward captain. The port close to them was about thirty minutes worth of walking, so walk they did.

Gintoki and Hajime then ended up spending a week with the Kaientai, due to some logistics issues that Tatsuma didn't want to touch, and an adventure or two.

After parting ways, Gintoki wouldn't see Tatsuma again, until after the Massacre.

Obviously Tatsuma would never again see the person who surprisingly got along well with him.

* * *

Waiiha. He was expecting Takasugi within the next few days.

He'd left little Kagura up at their hotel room, the Yato asleep after almost literally inhaling the dinner buffet. He was pretty sure any buffet at Edo wouldn't have been as accepting of the child's antics.

The planet boasted eternal summer days, but it also had summer nights. Waiiha never truly slept; with some guests preferring the joy of the sun and waves, while others took to embracing the hot, sweltering night-life, of neon-lit parties and booze and other night-time pleasures.

He'd sat back at the hotel bar, nursing a mug of hot Waiihan sake while watching drunk women getting it on in the dance floor. A dopey smile would come to his face when he'd spy a nip slip, or someone's piece falling off entirely.

Then a panting, drunk Tatsuma stumbled out from the crowd, his glasses clearly absent. Gintoki shook his head. A long time since and coincidences were still rampant in the universe.

Tatsuma seemed to feel the same. The man didn't seem surprised to see Gintoki here.

"Please don't tell Mutsu I'm here," he gasped, taking Gintoki's bottle and draining it, to his chagrin. "S'far as she knows I'm off negotiating a business trade on the other side of the planet..."

They spent some time catching up. Apparently Tatsuma owned a few more ships now. The Kaientai had become something of an acknowledged galactic enterprise, particularly after successfully transporting Royal Prince Hata's specimens safely through a space anomaly.

For himself, Gintoki only ventured news that the kid hadn't made it. This seemed to sap all of Tatsuma's previous mirth. They toasted the kid after, Tatsuma offering a late eulogy to the fallen.

"...you know, he called me, once." They'd ordered a second bottle of Amanto sake.

"Hm?" Gintoki set down his cup.

"Hajime. Must've been-" Tatsuma suppressed a burp. "Five, six months ago? Wanted to come aboard. I figured: you two had a little fight, so I didn't make any solid promises."

"Ahhh..." Gintoki remembered. Six months ago was-yes, the timing was about right. As Tatsuma'd become silent, perhaps waiting for an answer, he grunted. "Jus' something stupid."

Tatsuma blew out a breath, and didn't press any further. After a brief silence, where Tatsuma poured out another round, he said, "So, you given thought to what I told you before?"

Gintoki coughed. "Actually I did."

Tatsuma's brows quirked. "Really?"

"Yep. I'm heading home after this little vacation. There's nothing left here in space for me," he hesitated. "... And I also have some unfinished business concerning Hajime."

Tatsuma clapped his hands once. "Well, that sounds great. Good for you!" He was about to say something else, but then he closed his mouth and frowned.

"What is it?" Gintoki asked.

Tatsuma looked reluctant to say anymore, but then said, "Will you still be working with Takasugi?"

Gintoki went perfectly still. He looked away, choosing to stare into the depths of his cup.

"I've heard some whisperings," Tatsuma continued. "Word comes around to my crew, when they go on shore leave." He snorted. "I even hear it through the grapevine, when I'm 'networking' like Mutsu'd suggested. Takasugi's gaining a little bit of notoriety out there. They say even the Harusame have taken to treading lightly around them. I'm not sure about that last part though; those pirates are still the biggest damned fish in this ocean. And then there's-"

"I haven't changed my mind, Tatsuma," Gintoki said quietly. He could feel the other's appraising gaze.

"...Ah. Hm. Well that's a pity." Tatsuma offered a brief smile. "Well, here's hoping you lot live to see the rise of Kaientai Intergalactic. Aha..." He downed the contents of his cup.

Gintoki didn't look at him. "Sorry, Tatsuma."

To his surprise, Tatsuma chuckled. "What're you apologizing for, eh, Kintoki? You've got to do something, so as your friend, I ain't going to rain on your parade. I can see you've already committed to this course, so the best I can do is wish you a safe journey."

It was another way of answering the hitherto unspoken question that had floated between them since they'd met at that diner: _would he aid Takasugi?_ And the answer was, _probably not._

It didn't disappoint Gintoki; rather it was a small comfort to realize Tatsuma's glow hadn't dimmed out here in space. Earth and Edo would be needing that in the future.

"By the way, it's Gintoki like I keep telling you..."

Tatsuma snickered. His smile faded. "But seriously though... Don't get yourself killed. You've already seen space. Large enough to drown the Earth, eh? Don't make me have to change course just to attend your funeral." He stuck out a finger sternly. "I mean it."

* * *

He raised a hand to cover his eyes from the sun. His whole body ached from being slammed through several walls.

He sat up. He heard Kagura's voice ringing in the air, followed by someone screaming in pain.

The blue, cloudless sky stretched all the way to the horizon. A cargo ship flew overhead, casting a brief shadow upon him.

Gintoki cast his gaze upward.

Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend died.

Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend plotted.

Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend laughed.

He closed his eyes. "I'm back, stupid Earth." he muttered to himself. A stray piece of debris patted his head from above.

* * *

 **Shurpuff: The Sakamoto-Hajime-Gintoki segment has a part two, but because I intended to be thematically focused, that will have to be published at a later chapter.**


	4. DaddyO

**A Shurpuff work, published at his request.**

* * *

It seemed that that they'd visited his grave marker again.

Gintoki went over to sit beside the entrance to the graveyard. He loosened the straps of his hat, took it off, then used it to fan himself. His hair felt slick and uncomfortable in the heat.

They'd brought Kagura with them, and the kid hung back under her parasol, observing. It was good to see a reminder that they'd opened up to Kagura, and vice-versa.

He only hoped that, like Kagura, they'd eventually start opening up to him too.

After a few more minutes, they were done, and went to exit the graveyard. "Gin-pappy!" Kagura exclaimed, running over after seeing him. "You come visit too?"

"Good day, Gin-san," said the Shimura siblings. Both were smiling thinly, and said nothing else while the little Yato interrogated him and went through his pockets looking for snacks.

"Are you guys headed on home?" Gintoki asked, holding Kagura at arm's length.

"There's a family friend I'm going to meet," said Tae. Day by day the girl was shedding his image of the child who'd socked him in the jaw all those years ago. It sometimes took Gintoki a minute to remind himself-whenever he'd object to their doing certain things-that the girl had stepped up in raising herself and her brother when their father had died not too long ago. "We'll probably be back after lunch."

"Sounds good," Gintoki said blandly. "Uhhh..." He rubbed his head, looking for something to say. "Umm... You guys take care of yourselves." He cleared his throat.

"Of course, Gin-san," said Shinpachi. "Let's go, Kagura-chan."

"Gin-pappy not coming?" Kagura said haltingly.

Gintoki shook his head. "I'll see you all after lunch." The Yato grinned, then ruffled his unruly perm like one would a dog's.

"Bring a treat from the cake shop!" she chirped, padding after the others.

"If I feel like it," he mumbled, waving goodbye. The kids left, Kagura chattering on about something to Tae.

He got to his feet and went over to Hajime's marker. He sat before it and performed the necessary ceremonies. He closed his eyes, letting the summer haze boil away his mind to nothing.

Gintoki honestly hadn't expected having to become guardian to some kids when he'd first agreed to the plan. Partnering with Hajime hadn't been too bad, as the kid was older and could handle his own. He could have handled kids like that. But now he was expected to watch over three smaller kids, one of them a child Yato.

He knew jack shit about raising actual children, especially an alien one. He didn't have time to buy and read how-to books. He wasn't that old, and he'd spent most of his life being a stupid kid himself. The situation would have been amusing to an outsider: an orphan raising orphans and a runaway (or whatever Kagura was, he definitely needed to get on that queue for Child Services).

"May I beg prayers for my poor child, good monk?" croaked a voice behind him. Gintoki opened his eyes.

"I don't give prayers for free, and I also don't pray for imaginary children."

"How dare you! Sadako was just three when she was sucked into the television, causing me and the Madame no small amount of stress and heartache! Perhaps Setsuko has been sucked into a magical world of love and rainbows, and has become Queen of her own kingdom, from where she now wrestles with important matters of state: so I beg prayers that she is successful. Perhaps Setsuko has been sucked into a futuristic world where robots and cyborgs reign supreme, and she is now an infamous leader of the resistance, which is now being besieged by an army of robots: so I beg prayers that they win! Perhaps Setsuko has been sucked into a world of battle, where one's wits and powers are absolutely required for victory in a harsh and brutal game of life and death, which is now close to being concluded with her in a big pinch against an actual god: so I beg prayers that another god shows up to protect her in her time of need! Perhaps Setsu-gak!"

Gintoki withdrew the hilt that he'd stuck into the annoying person's gut. "This is a graveyard. This is absolutely no place for that high tension rant. Are you stupid, Zura?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," the man said, still doubled up in pain on the floor. He pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing his belly gingerly. "My deepest apologies if I intruded on your thoughts, Gintoki. I'd thought that you were asleep and only wished to wake you."

"If I was asleep, you definitely shouldn't have woken me up."

"At risk of you being captured by a Shinsengumi spy? You underestimate Edo, Gintoki. Out there in space you were free to go 'kyaa-kyaa, fufufun' all you wanted, but here you are expected as any other underground member to keep a low profile."

"What do you mean by 'kyaa-kyaa'? I wasn't on a vacation, moron! And I'll have you know I don't have anything to fear from the Shinsengumi. You can count on that."

Zura sniffed. "Not yet, anyway." He crossed his arms. "Soon, 'work' will have to start. An important part of our overall plan. You needn't have second thoughts. As I said before, don't worry about the Shimuras. They will be watched, as usual."

"Like I was even planning to play hooky," Gintoki said. He rubbed his warm forehead. "What kinda folks have you got watching the dojo?"

"People who will vow on their ancestors to have nothing to do with us," said Zura, giving a thumbs up. "I don't even know their names, and neither, of course, should you."

Gintoki frowned, still a bit doubtful. He got back to his feet, shaking the dust off his clothes. "Alright. I'm assuming you're here because there's something to do. Out with it then."

"Be patient just a bit more, Gintoki," Zura said. He gestured to the all the graves around them "The dead have ears, you know? This isn't a good spot for such talk."

Gintoki made a dismissive gesture. "Hmph. I've been to space, Zura. I don't believe in all that hocus-pocus supernatural crap. ...But this place is kinda hot, so lead on." He eyed the graves through the corner of his eye, suspicious.

Two monks walking together would have stood out in Edo, and Zura was understandably paranoid about a Shinsengumi patrol just happening to walk by and find the whole thing suspicious. So Gintoki changed to his normal wear, an amalgamation of the stuff he'd brought back from space as a souvenir (including a snazzy jersey ensemble).

Along the way, Zura filled in a few details about Edo. "... probably not going to be a mission for you in daytime, but just in case, know that there are several districts in Edo where you can almost always lose the Shinsengumi. First there's Kabukichou, where the police generally hesitate to go. That doesn't mean there haven't been raids on some cells in the past, but you almost never see a Shinsengumi patrol walking normally through there. It's a seedy neighborhood, especially after dark, so if you need to get anonymous, that town's got a town of hiding places. Currently we've got two cells stationed there."

"Only two?"

"Now you know why I'm being especially cautious. The government dogs got three whole cells just because someone got careless. We're down to two, but they're well-protected."

"For now."

"Pessimism does not make the warrior. Anyway, a second choice would be Akiba, and I say second because we've got more than a few people there. It's actually rigidly patrolled by police, but we've managed to blend in, making it the perfect spot for us. Hiding in plain sight, eh?

"Another good town would be Yoshiwara..." Zura rattled off more names and facts, but by then the heat had washed away near all of Gintoki's rational thought and capacity for paying attention. It had been a big mistake leaving off the hat.

They turned right into an alley and entered an apparently empty house, though there were signs of people living there. It was reasonably hidden from the street, and a window provided an opportunity to observe the comings and goings of anyone who wanted to eavesdrop.

Inside, Zura abandoned any pretext of cheer. "The underground's facing a little purge," he said without preamble. "People are scrambling for boltholes, but they're still being dragged out. Ordinarily, we wouldn't interfere, but my advisors tell me another fracture in our ranks would be imminent if we don't address this. And I've already got problems reining in some of the more excitable ronin."

"I don't need the whole background," Gintoki said testily.

"You need to know just a bit, Gintoki. You have a right to it."

"Okay, but if you're going off into a long-ass lecture that puts me to sleep, I'm charging you ten jumbo sundaes for myself and the kids."

Zura snorted. "Fair enough. I'll pass over the political ramifications of the movement splitting into factions, because if you do this right we can avoid the scenario entirely. Our problem comes from the Hitotsubashi clan."

Gintoki's eyes narrowed. Every current rebel knew of the Hitotsubashi who'd led a small rebellion towards the end. Gintoki had paid the news no heed then, too preoccupied with his goals. There had been talks of cooperation, but that fell through when word came that the useless guy had been beaten after one skirmish.

Zura continued, "It seems that a few of their leaders have been trying to curry back favor with the main branch, to wipe out the stain of betrayal. If I were the Shogun I'd have booted them out of the succession entirely, but I'm not. In any case, they've been systematically purging any and all links to the rebellion that they can find, and the worst part is that it involves some of our own men."

"I thought that guy was separate from us. Unless you and Takasugi had some under-the-table meetings with him."

"We'd have publicly announced such an arrangement if that was the case. It would have prevented exactly this kind of situation, because their family might well and truly have been wiped out. As it is, they wash their hands clean, claiming a passing madness in their former leader, and that the rest of the clan was upstanding and loyal to the Shogunate."

"So how'd they get our guys, as you're saying?"

"I don't exactly know how," said Zura. "But I do know that a 'leak' exists, and it is through a possible traitor in our lower ranks, who somehow has a link with the Hitotsubashi. As you know, we barely had enough preparation to get a proper rebellion running, nor the time to run decent background checks. As long as they fought and lived like Samurai, we wouldn't have cared if they didn't have any background at all."

Gintoki rolled his eyes. "So, in the end, it's still indirectly our fault."

"No, no, the blame lies firmly upon the traitor. And that is where you come in." Zura's eyes glittered with a righteous anger. "We know who he is."

Gintoki cursed under his breath. He pointed at Zura accusingly. "Those were the only words I wanted to hear from the start, moron. So what's the plan?"

* * *

"Thanks for the food!" Kagura fled the table, giggling, and dashed for the living room.

"Excuse me," Shinpachi murmured, bowing to him with eyes averted. He followed the Yato.

"That was a good meal, Sakata-san," Tae said, super-polite. Her smile belonged to a first-time customer thanking the chef for the food. He suppressed the urge to sigh. "Perhaps I could take care of the meals next time?"

"Really? That's a good idea, Otae. I'll be counting on ya."

It was heartening to see them take to his cooking, though, for all that he drew less on established recipes and more on "Cool, this ingredient might be good here". It was a shame that buying the more exotic Amanto ingredients he'd been used to on his travels was an expensive option here on Edo. He had to carefully ration the monthly budget now that he had three kids to watch over.

The budget had grown a bit more strained because of all the things they had asked for. A new game device for Shinpachi and Kagura, extensive renovations to their living quarters as requested by Tae (which included a frigging entertainment hub complete with holotech TV and sound system), an overhaul to the kitchen, where he was expected to create masterpieces 2/3s of the time, and a basement library cum study area, where all the scrolls related to their style were relocated from storage and where empty shelves stood, waiting for his wallet to refill them with all kinds of books.

He found it very hard to refuse.

All these did get Takasugi his secret underground room, however, and there was now an actual evil lair sitting two layers below and sealed by blastproof doors. Although there wasn't anything in it yet but an inactivated electronic data archive, the kind that could store and process bytes of data in the mega-trillions. Gintoki tried to guess the possible uses of such a thing, as Takasugi had remained tight-lipped about that arrangement.

Hajime's savings remained untouched, as Gintoki had sat the Shimuras down and explained that the kid had wanted for it all to go to the dojo, and until Tae was old enough to have mastered their style, the money would remain in the bank.

Nine o'clock was bedtime for all, though Tae had already retired to her quarters before then. He dragged a reluctant Shinpachi and a squirming Kagura from their QS2 playing session, saw that they were tucked in their respective futons in their respective rooms, then proceeded to lock all the doors and windows in the house.

He ducked into the pantry and sampled his home-made yogurt in the fridge; it was perfection. _May whoever Amanto invented that admittedly expensive brewing machine be blessed by a million gods._

Then he went to his room and changed into the attire Zura'd provided. He left the house, slipping through the night over the rooftops of Edo.

"Zura, I look fucking ridiculous," said Gintoki. They crouched behind a garbage dump.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," Zura quipped. "And those are authentic shinobi clothes. You should be more grateful. They were quite a hassle to obtain."

"It says 'Akiba Cosplaid' on the tag. You just bought them at a costume shop, didn't you?"

"This is no time to quibble over useless things," said Zura. He held up a finger. "Listen well, Gintoki. A warrior must strive to be frugal. Heaven and earth can conspire to frustrate him, so he must always be prepared to live on less than what he is accustomed to. If he gets a loaf of bread from a kind baker, then he breaks the end off to eat and gives the rest to the first beggar he sees. If he is offered a place to sleep at the stables, he goes and finds the first beggar to sleep in his place. If he gets a gift card to Akiba Cosplaid, then he should not think twice in using it."

"So it really did come from a cosplay shop! Way to go man! You know what you should have done? You should've taken that gift card and given it to the first hobo you came across: I'm sure they'd need the clothes more." Gintoki scratched his butt. "Arrrghh... And it doesn't even get points for quality... shit, it itches so much..."

"Allow me, Gintoki."

"Stop! I don't want your hand on my ass!"

"I scratch yours, you scratch mine."

"Like hell I'm scratching yours!"

There came laughter from the street. The two warriors froze, all senses alert. Gintoki adjusted the mask over his head, making sure no perm stuck out. Nodding to Zura, he sneaked out from behind the dump. Behind him Zura'd scaled the wall to creep over the roof.

 _Was that him?_ Gintoki peeked beyond the corner.

A group of well-dressed thugs were trailing a lone man, who looked frightened out of his wits from this distance. Gintoki slipped out of cover. He had to hand it to Zura: the costume's tabi made little noise on the dirt. He slinked into the shadows and moved closer.

"... Kudoi. Noisy man. Would be good to shut him up forever." he heard the target say.

Some thug murmured something he couldn't catch, after which the target replied, "O-Of course, milords. Right this way."

Gintoki looked ahead and saw Zura crouched in position near the gutters. He counted down, then began.

He stepped out noisily into the moonlight, and began to march slow and zombie-like after the group. "Ooooh..." he rumbled in his throat, sounding either like a vengeful ghost or a wasted drunk.

There were drawn swords. The target screamed and cowered back, while the thugs closed in, murder flashing in their eyes.

Gintoki continued to lurch forward, waiting for Zura. When a shadow fell over the target, subduing it without the thugs knowing, Shiroyasha grinned.

Quick-draws were oft impractical in this position-for the average warrior. Shiroyasha did it easily: only a second after drawing and the two front-most thugs literally lost their heads, and in the next second he'd dashed forward, too quick for the eyes of the rest to follow.

It was over in five seconds.

"Is that a new sword?" Zura asked. Shiroyasha glanced at him, flecked the blood from blade with a swift motion before turning it, edge away, to show Zura.

"Wouldja believe it's Amanto made?" he said. "Someone out there must've visited Edo one time and liked what they saw. I bought this at some flea market. Pretty cheap-valued for its quality. And it's also got this." Clicking some invisible switch, the blade shimmered into nonexistence.

Zura couldn't hide his surprise. "Impressive."

"And on again." The blade reappeared. Gintoki sheathed it. "Thought it pretty handy when I remembered the Sword Ban. Any of them Shinsengumi thugs hold you up and you just show them an empty hilt."

"Those would be useful for us," Zura said pensively, staring at the sword. "So many possibilities... But we can discuss that matter later. For now..." Zura indicated the tied up man behind him.

Gintoki glanced around the fallen bodies. He turned over a headless corpse. "This emblem mean anything to you?"

"Hitotsubashi."

Gintoki raised a brow, letting the corpse go. "They aren't real subtle about this then."

"They have the backing of the Shogunate. But now that we've got the snitch, the purging will end. With luck, they won't find another leak." Gintoki looked at the gagged man, who stared at them in abject terror.

They brought him to one of Zura's safehouses. Gintoki got to securing the house while Zura got the prisoner ready.

"Shall I be the good cop then?" Zura said.

Gintoki disdained the work and he knew Zura did too. Back in the war, captured spies were usually the purview of someone in Tatsuma's faction or the Kiheitai. He and Zura were usually on the sidelines, observing.

So Gintoki took the lead.

He ripped the gag off. "Let's try to make this quick. Did you give them a list?"

"L-list?"

Slash. The man uttered a keening scream. He made sure the man saw the blade diving for his throat. Before it could cut, the blade dematerialized.

When the man opened his eyes, Gintoki made sure he saw the blade was there.

Gintoki tapped the man's cheek lightly with the end of his sheath. "Oi, oi. Don't fall asleep now. Tell us the truth. Did you, coward, make a handy list to give to your newly dead friends?"

"P-please forgive me... I was forced to-I-I-I didn't know what to do! They threatened-"

Grasping the man's head, he thrust the tip of his sword near the man's eye. "We don't need the reason. A traitor's fate awaits the traitor. Tell us now: did you make them a list?"

"N-no! I didn't... I never...!"

Gintoki caught Zura's eye. The latter nodded curtly. "D'you know any others who might've squealed?"

"I-I-I wouldn't know-"

"Who contacted you? You got some names?"

"Y-you killed them... They were the only ones who came to the house..."

Zura cursed. Gintoki's face twitched, before he sighed and withdrew the sword.

They could never be 100% sure that anything the man had said was true. Perhaps there were others, perhaps he'd made a list somewhere. Perhaps the man was more than he seemed: a spy for the Shogunate, or the Tendoshuu.

The only definite thing they could see here was that this man had been a leak, and now they'd plugged it up. There remained only one final detail.

Whatever his reasons, the man had led some of their own to their deaths. They wouldn't have given a damn if the Hitotsubashi'd been purging their former supporters, but this man had managed to involve their people. Their comrades.

"As bad cop said, we don't care for your reasons," Zura said behind him. "But now you must reap what your actions have sown."

The man's eyes widened. "No...! No!"

They might have waited: brought the man in as a prisoner for Takasugi's goons to interrogate. But then it meant they'd have a dangerous bomb in their midst. It was difficult keeping prisoners while on the run from the law.

"I have a family! Please! Don't! For their sake! For my daughter...! Who will care for my daughter? You can't be so heartless...!"

Gintoki pulled the man into a sitting position. He glanced at Zura, who shrugged.

"This is your case, Sarge," Zura drawled.

Gintoki clucked his tongue. This was probably only a ruse to buy time. But if it was true-

A child would always need its parent.

They brought him to his house. It wasn't that far away. Zura hung back with the prisoner as Gintoki methodically checked the inside, alert to any possibility: shinobi in the rafters, tripwires, Amanto tech. When he found nothing, he called Zura.

"You're a damned liar," he told the man. The house consisted of only two rooms: a living room melded with the kitchen and a side room with all the futons folded up in the corner. Not a sign of the daughter, or anyone else.

"But that's imposs-I swear I have a daughter! She was here...! She was supposed to be-"

"Let me check," said Zura, taking Gintoki's flashlight. The Shiroyasha held the eyes of the grovelling man, his irate gaze promising the latter a swift end.

"Hmmm..." he heard Zura say. "There are several futons here. They look used... And they've got that floral scent that one reasonably assumes belongs to someone who uses shampoos and oils in the bath-and I don't smell it on that person."

Gintoki stepped past the guy. Impatient, he flicked open the lights, then peeked into the room where Zura was.

Zura was crouched near the beds. There was a small vanity near the corner beside the window. There were some items on top of the vanity that looked like they belonged to a wife or daughter (assuming the guy wasn't using it himself), though it might be conjectured to belong to a mistress of sorts.

Gintoki opened the closet. No one inside, though he saw some small clothes folded in a pile. He stepped over to the window, keeping the man firmly in its reflection. On the windowsill were several wooden animal carvings, two floral pins, an old, moldy pencil and a bunch of faded receipts hardened by grime. There were a bunch of dusty black feathers scattered around the floor. A cracked broom leaned against the corner.

"Where might your daughter be at this time?" Zura asked, from the next room.

" _She was right here_! I put her to sleep before I left the house! She should be here!" The man began weeping.

When Gintoki came back, Zura approached and said in a whisper. "It's entirely up to you, bad cop. But whichever it is, I do recommend doing it quick." Zira stepped past him to shut the lights. "The night is approaching, and the bodies will have made this neighborhood a police hotspot."

After a moment's hesitation, he knocked the man out. "Count your lucky stars," Gintoki said under his breath.

"There is never a right, or wrong answer," Zura intoned, mostly to himself.

They took him back to the scene. The place wasn't yet swarming with police or concerned passersby. Gintoki dumped the unconscious man near the bodies, removed his bonds then retreated to a higher vantage point. They waited, watching for the first report, the first police cruisers dropping by which was then followed by a Shinsengumi unit on patrol. By then the man had stirred awake, only to find himself facing irate cops on the night beat.

The two made themselves scarce.

"I wonder where his daughter was," Zura said.

Gintoki shrugged. "Could have shipped her off somewhere. Or sold her off."

"Could any man really be that evil?" Zura asked. "...Not like his life will be any easier from now on."

The man was doomed to prison or a beheading, unless he was protected. If the man was Tendoshuu or Shogunate spy, then they wouldn't know anything about them beyond a description of their heights-Zura had been wise to choose Akiba Cosplaid.

"It's out of our hands, in any case," said Gintoki. "I say we leave the trash to the police. Our job is done."

After a moment, Zura said, "Good work tonight, Gintoki-kun. We look forward to your progress. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, Katsura-senpai-"

"Since when was I your junior, huh, Zuracchi?"

"It's not Zuracchi, it's Katsura!"

* * *

They went their separate ways: Zura going to wherever a known Joui patriot lived and Gintoki returning to a respectable home and life.

He burned the clothes, then washed the night from his face. He went down to the pantry for another piece of yogurt.

"...Why are you still awake?"

"Gin-pappy..."

Kagura's mouth was blotched over with his dessert. Her eyes were wide, guilty. She'd made such a mess of the box: yogurt scattered everywhere, staining her clothes, her hair. The mess made him want to cry.

Instead he sighed. He was too tired to be annoyed.

"I'll scold you later, you hear?"

"I'm sorry, Gin-pappy."

"Are you really?"

A long pause. Then a nod. "... The yogurt is tasty."

"Yes, yes, it _was._ Now, let's get you cleaned up." He helped the girl wipe herself, then got her a change of clothes. He awkwardly lectured her as best he could.

He then took care of the mess at the kitchen, and took consolation in a frozen choco-banana from the fridge. Then he went around the rooms, checking to make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be.

* * *

Back at his room, he caught sight of his katana and remembered he still had something to do.

He took some oil and started polishing.

There came a distinct coughing sound.

"Shut up," said Gintoki. The coughing stopped.


End file.
